doe__eyes (doe__eyes) wrote in moosespresso,

i need help! on my poetry! bah

i've been in such a prose-state-of-mind lately that my poems are coming out like prose.  (maybe i should just write a prose poem....) i wrote this for last week, but i'm going to workshop it this week. boo. my revelation (in diane's terminology, the revelation is the ending) doesn't really reveal much most of the time. and i need to fix it.

Dead Deer

If someone from my town
accidentally hit a deer
while driving down the road
they would pull over,
inspect the damage to the car
then drag the dead deer
into the trunk and go home –
and that deer meat would probably
be served for dinner
the following night

I told my roommate this
She was disgusted, and said,
“Poor deer! Why couldn't it
just die in peace!
That’s why the rest of the country
thinks Texas is ass-backwards.”
But she’d never been to Texas
and she didn’t know anything about Texas
so I changed the subject
I asked her how her Ag class was going
and she told me
that she had killed 28 chickens that week
(not by accident)
to study their insides
and that it was her favorite class of the semester


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